I enjoy a moment of peace tonight. It's late in the evening of December 22nd and I'm sitting in my room which is subtly lit by candles. "The Fellowship" is running in a small corner of the monitor while I type these lines to you. I don't know how often I've seen this movie, anyway I still love watching it. It's like a good friend knowing how to calm me.

After weeks of mostly more monotonous than inspiring work an end is looming to this giant project at the agency. If I am lucky we can release part one to the print shop tomorrow - part two is already beckoning around the corner. But to be honest to you, at this point I really don't want to think about it anymore. I slept bad, dreamt of the layouts and I believe that recently even stones were more socializing than me ... but now I look forward to some free days.

This time of the year means a lot to me and I remember well how annoyed I was as a student, when teachers or professors announced exams just before christmas. I used to write the exam-dates on a small piece of paper and stuck it to the top of my wooden secretary (yes - I used this old fashioned furniture over many years and loved all its panels and compartments). After I had finished an exam I crossed it out on the paper and as christmas came closer the number of crossed-out dates grew until the day when I happily told myself to relax because all work was done.

Recently I was mostly surrounded by people who seemed to know nothing but their work. Of course you have to stick to your word if you give a promise to a client. But what's the worth of a life dedicated to work without " having a life"?

I've spent a lot time ... pondering ... how things could be. I think the next year could bring some changes in many ways. I just don't know yet if I'll be brave enough to do what I really want to do. Are you ready to face everything you're planning or are you scared and insecure about what might occur as a result of your plans?

I hope your wishes for the next year will fulfil =) In my eyes it could turn out into an extraordinary year. So take care of yourself and have a merry christmas with family and friends.

"Drugs" for this update:
The Fellowship, red wine, a little christmas mood

thoughts on snow


Do you know how it feels to run on autopilot? It can happen when you're studying a lot, preparing for exams or juggling many jobs and projects both at work and private with yet undefined options for the future. I am currently stuck in this unattractive eat-sleep-work-rhythm from which I manage to get only few breaks, but those I want to tell and share with you.

I had a really nice evening last Wednesday, following the invitation of the Italian paper company Fedrigoni to the Mexican Bar "Sausalitos" in Essen ( This place has a giant bar with all kinds of Tequila, very good food - and plenty of it. Apparently Fedrigoni had ordered food for too many people and everyone was a bit drowsy after the rich dinner and had problems following the original intention of the evening - the paper presentation. But all in all it was a good evening and I had some nice talks with other Designers.

If you have seen the pictures from the beginning of November you probably remember my visit to Cologne and the a-ha concert. Well ... I actually went to another concert. I went to Amsterdam (you call me mad now, I know ...). I've been to Amsterdam very often and I like this city a lot, but it is also a place, where you should know about the areas to go and where to stay away from. My old car was broken open when I visited a record fair in the nearby Utrecht several years ago; my radio was stolen and the thief rifled through my private stuff - which was a disgusting feeling, even worse than the loss of the radio and the broken doorlocks. So I wasn't too excited about the location. But I didn't know in which part of Amsterdam the Heineken Music Hall was and I simply hoped for the best. Everything turned out to be nice. After many traffic jams around Arnheim and Utrecht the final one just before Amsterdam with eight (!!) jammed lanes into the city topped everything, however I arrived in time and saw a wonderful concert.

Hmmm ... I even feel the autopilot in numerating these events, but I really don't want to sound like that. Did you follow the news about what happened in my area of Germany last weekend? I am located in the Western-Münsterland, district Borken which has - together with the district Steinfurt - experienced something last weekend that has probably never happened before. I awoke to the sound of a storm early Friday morning. The few cars on nearby streets sounded normal and I didn't expect anything bad. Not even when I walked over to a window in the darkness and saw that the streets and roofs outside had turned white. Not much snow had fallen - yet. But it continued over day and at some point in the afternoon I felt, that something different was going on. About 30 centimeters of snow fell over day (additional 20 on Saturday) and in the evening the chaos was perfect.

The windscreen wipers of my car broke as a result of me wanting to get out of the snowstorm and into my car without freeing the windows properly from the snow and for the first time in my life I got stuck in a pile of snow that took me ten minutes of furious back and forth steering to get out. All day long the lights had flickered and in the evening 250.000 households in the region suffered from a power outage. Aproximately one half of them had regained electricity on sunday evening - today still 2.000 people are sitting in their cold homes. My town was lucky and apart from several spooky minutes in complete darkness on friday evening there were no restrictions. I had never expected this to happen - ever. Well you see ... we unprepared Germans ... we learned a lot over the weekend.

I was over the moon when I watched the snow falling - from silent thick flakes to a whirling happy dance with a soundlesss beat. I don't remember seeing so much snow, but I recalled memories that come to my mind everytime I see snow, like being waken up as a child with the words: "Come over to the window, it has snowed!"

Do you remember the silence, when you open the door and everything is white? Or the light at night when the snow glows? Do you look up into the sky when the snow falls until you're all dizzy from the movement and whirl?

... when you go out for a walk and see snowflakes in the hair of someone you like a lot and you wait for the other one to say: "Every snowflake is unique, noone resembles the other one ..." and "The Inuit have more than a hundred words for ... "
... but noone says that anymore ... so goodnight for now ...

"Drugs" for this update:

suitable for an iPod ...


The recent job causes me driving a lot more than I usually do. Since I love driving so much it's not stressful, but a true pleasure for me. Actually I had no real idea about how the jobs would develop these weeks, all I can say for myself is that I try not to panic but take it slow when possible. A lot has happened and the pictures illustrate pretty nice my activities over the past days. There are also plenty pics on my Mac that I haven't shown to you but their time will come one day - until then I'll keep them stored on the HD and in the back of my mind.

One morning last week I had to leave home very early and was on the road when the sun rose. If I hadn't had an appointment I had loved to take some hours off to take pictures of the most brilliant autumn days I remember for a long time, but all I could do was stopping now and then and take a picture. I hardly remember the trees were given the chance to bring out their fall colors the way they do it these days. When the sun lowers in the late afternoon I feel the colours burning and glowing from deep inside, bragging with beauty. Many trees are still golden, while others have lost all leaves (like my Ginkgo) and some are even still bright green, showing hardly a sign of different tints. That's why it also felt very odd this morning, when I went to the market and watched staff from the city-marketing putting up giant green wreaths for christmas decoration ... I mean ... we had temperatures of +20 degrees last week ...

I also want to share my last weekend in Cologne with you. Before I went to the concert from a-ha, I roamed the streets and did some shopping. I've always liked the area around the Ehrenstraße very much. You'll find pretty small shops offering very individual (sometimes even strange) products, tiny cafes, sushi bars and much more. The sun was shining and I was in an extremely good mood and very relaxed. A shop I had never payed attention to was one of my destinations. Cuddled between old houses and with a very discreet sign, I found a new home for my iPod - a "John Thursday 55" in grey/orange =) and an "oatmeal Weenie" for not yet defined tasks. The store iside was well designed, the girl who helped me to find the suitable stuff had a funny accent I could't assign to a special country. They also had a nice bag for my cam, but I had already bought a small thingie for it which isn't perfect but does the job for now.

The evening came and I visited once again a concert from a-ha. I haven't counted how many I've attended yet, but I've seen them several times before. Sometimes I think they become better from year to year. The concert was wonderful and I had the chance to take some nice pictures from the guys. With those pictures I want to thank them for their great music - especially the song Dragonfly, which has a very special meaning to me. The dragonfly itself has become some sort of a symbol for myself. I plan to design some busines cards and stationary (if I ever take time for that project) with the stylized dragonfly you see on top of this site.

Speaking of design I want to annotate one last thing. Recently I read on the site of a californian illustrator about a cool tool that probably even excels the "normal" Graphic Tablet I'd like to own and use one day. A Cintiq. That's a nice toy ... and will probably remain a dream. But who doesn't need dreams ...

Until the next time have a nice autumn, "Happy Halloween" and keep your eyes open for me and new updates =) I know you do that anyway ;)

"Drugs" for this update:
a-ha - Cosy Prison, a glass of Chianti



Once again two weeks have passed since my last update - utterly busy weeks to tell you the truth. Now I am sitting in my room. The light of my small desklamp meets the flickering shadows of a scented candle to the right of my monitor. Music is flowing very silently out of the speakers because I don't want to drown out the sound of the rain and far away thunder outside. It has been a pretty tough day today just like many of the recent days - mainly based upon a giant new job the agency was awarded the contract to today. I had the toughest presentation ever last monday, which could've carried the title " Ten Men and a Girl" (or should I say vs. a Girl??). I still haven't completely realized, what really happened there, but apart from the fact that it's a huge personal success, I am extremely scared about the project's amount of work.

Right now I feel this labour towering up in front of me and I don't have a clue yet how to handle it. The next week will hopefully bring some transparency and I already fear this job will bring me to my physical limits, but perhaps I am mistaken and everything will be just fine. However, it may be, that my sparetime will be reduced to a minimum and my website will therefore run under the title of "temporary hiatus" until christmas ... but as I said, this is pure fear right now that lames me. I hope everything will just work out fine.

Tonight I'll update the Seasonal Section with some pictures I took during the Kirmes weekend which was already overshadowed by preparations for this new job. I had to work long and walked over to the Kirmes after work which is just around the agency's corner. The weather was simply wonderful but I wasn't that much in the mood for careful selecting my motives so it is basically a collection of snapshots of whom I hope you'll like them anyway.

What's that silent music in the background of my room you ask? When I had finished the upload of the last update I saw a TV-spot featuring a new album from Blank & Jones - Relax 2. Their first Relax-album is one of my most favourite CDs for several reasons (my iPod chose "The hardest heart" when I drove back from today's meeting with the new client). Relax 2 is in my posession now and I like what I've heard so far but I already now, it'll probaly never achieve the status of the other CD. It contains wonderful chillout music and it invites me to dream and relax - so far it lives up to the promising title. What I didn't know, when I bought the CD but found out when I inserted it into my Mac was, that B&J named disc one: Sun and disc two: Moon ... a wonderful idea in my opinion ... relax ... *turns to the window, stares into the pitchblack darkness and listens to the hymn the rain composes with the chillout sounds of B&J*

"Drugs" for this update:
Blank & Jones - I love you // ... Freedom's when you have to leave but you decide to stay anyway ... Think I'll try to get some sleep ... I know we'll find our way one day ... Visions of my lifetime ...



Yesterday I definitely overestimated my abilities in gardening. When I mowed the lawn the last time - I don't do that very often - I imagined to mow the lawn of a property of the size of more than 1.000 square meters because the garden I have to take care for is much smaller, but nevertheless extremely labour-intensive. After digging up the soil yesterday to prepare it for new plants like Hepatica (which belongs more to a forest than a garden) or the Chocolate flowers (I wonder if they really smell like chocolate), my right arm is in pain today. I also fought a desperate battle against hundrets of caterpillars chewing on my nasturtium - in fact some of them managed to escape and still creep around.

But what I wanted to tell you is that I can hardly use my right arm and hand because they hurt everytime I move and therefore tonight's entry may be less wordy than usual. However I'll add some pictures from the partial solar eclipse that I watched last monday. The light was too difficult to handle for me and my little cam - but I tried.

The small exhibition project I mentioned in my last entry is doing well and nearly completed in contrast to some things at the agency that definitely go wrong, but this is not the right place to go into details ... perhaps some other day. Last Wednesday the agency really brought me down and I went to bed early to read and divert my thoughts. I found some nice lines in Part II of the "Wheel Of Time" which I read parallel with the "Sil".

... he formed a single flame in his mind and fed his fears into it, seeking emptiness, the stillness of the void. The flame seemed to grow until it enveloped everything, until it was too large to contain or imagine any longer. With that it was gone, leaving in its place a sense of peace. At its edges, emotions still flickered, fear and anger like black blotches, but the void held. Thought skimmed across its surface like pebbles across ice ...
I liked these lines a lot and they calmed me that evening. If you're overworked or extremely busy times are ahead of you - remember these words.

The last Saturday in October I'll be in Cologne for a concert from a-ha. I should have some time in the afternoon before the concert to visit a shop in the Ehrenstraße that's supposed to have Crumpler bags for iPods and digital cameras in store =) From what I've seen so far I like them most. I hope, I'll find something suitable because the iPod is terribly delicate if it comes to scratches. It currently resides in the little mobile pocket of my bag, but it already shows more scratches than my mobile.

An event to come next weekend is the annual Kirmes. The steady visitors of my site might remember last year's entry that contained nothing but rain. I drove home from the local market early yesterday morning (still a bitt sleepy) when I saw that some of the booths and merry-go-rounds are already being built up. My heart skipped a beat and I stopped for a picture =) And with this picture I say goodnight to you ...

"Drugs" for this update:
Toi Doi, a sherry

the soundtrack of my life


The past two weeks brought the most beautiful late summer/early autumn weather that I remember for a long time. Did you enjoy it as much as I did? The days started with haze and a big moon in the sky both in the morning and at night. The glowing dragonflies in the window of my room had a spectacular nightview and the short way to the agency and back home filled me with joy when I cycled through brilliant rays of morning light shining through trees, spreading a surreal and almost celestial mood until the mist was burned away by the rising sun.

Wednesday morning I couldn't help stopping my bike for a while to look at the sky and the light with background music from my iPod. Sometimes I wonder if it notices the mood I am in because I usually use the shuffle function when I am on my way to work. I've read that people "compose" special playlists in iTunes to listen to certain songs when being at certain places. Since I have already spent hours organizing all my stuff in iTunes I refused to do so and let the iPod decide which song to play. On Wednesday it provided the perfect soundtrack for the early morning. With a big lump in my throat I hoped for someone to stop the time and make this moment last for ever ...

The past days had also several inspiring moments in store for me. I've visited some online archives for digital photography and downloaded many, many pictures as a source of inspiration. Thereby I discovered several new and interesting aspects considering composition-ideas for the use of color as well as motive and angle. What I saw also gave me hints about the features my next camera should be equipped with. I don't know yet when I'll upgrade my Fuji or buy a new camera respectively, which is of course depending on my finances. It is not so easy to keep up with all the development and progress made in the digital sector and I am sure that digital photography will move on massively until I have a new camera. By then I enjoy my Fuji and try to make the best of my pictures and experiment with its features. Therefore I was very happy, when I read the lines from a friend some days ago who said he'd like the bigger images I uploaded two weeks ago =)

Another thing I'd like to mention is a nice new shop I discovered called "Der Farbkasten" (The Paintbox) that has an excellent stock of colors, papers and sketchbooks. Though I love working with my computer, I am still very fond of traditional sketching and drawing. It helps me to relax and takes worries off my mind. The woman who owns the store plans an exhibition in late November together with some other people and it looks like I'm going to help them a little with that project. Those contacts help me a lot to follow a more artistic train of throughts - and it strengthens my resolve that one day I should become self-employed.

You see that my life ist busy as usual and that I need a lot of discipline to get everything done. Sometimes it works - sometimes I fail, because there is just so much I want to do and so little time. But I am taking one step after the other. The most recent thing I started about three or four weeks ago is my attempt to teach myself PHP. I already asked my provider to unlock the libraries I need for that on his webserver, and the first thing I learned is that I have to understand more about object-oriented programming. *sighs* Learning never stops - but I love gaining knowledge and deeper understanding. It makes me feel like a sponge sometimes - soaking up everything around.

After all I've written tonight it seems difficult to change the topic to the latest pictures I've uploaded for you. I went to a nearby farm where I occasionally buy vegetables or fruit and also my pumpkins for Halloween. They had their annual pumpkin festival and I'll invite you to come with me and take a look at what was going on there.

... good night to you dear visitor of my little place in the web =)

"Drugs" for this update:
Rana - Psynapses, the shining dragonflies in my window

a summer evening outside


It is Wednesday evening as I write these lines in a slightly unusual surrounding. I'm sitting in the garden with my iPod, my LamyLady-fountain pen, the thick writing pad I use for taking notes and scribbles for my website and a glass of cold Pinot. The scents from a BBQ somewhere in the neighbourhood are in the air and soon the soccer qualification games for next year's world championship in Germany will be on TV, giving me the hope it'll be very quite tonight outside (apart from screams if someone scores a goal) until the light leaves me and I can't see my pen and paper anymore and the small bats will come out for hunting.

I'll type these lines into my Mac at the weekend, when being inside the house isn't such a woe anymore (due to humid 30 degs). While my holidays are over the summer is still here - but as you noticed - autumn sends out it's first greetings. It was very warm last week but the signs of autumn can't be missed (strange, that my iPod plays a song called "Summer's last song" from Peter Jöback right now). A sidestreet nearby the agency is seamed by maple and hazelnut trees and the sidewalk is already covered with nuts and yellow leaves that fissle under my feet when I walk there.

I enjoy the odour of dewcovered soil in the cool morning hours and the low mists give the early morning a very special atmosphere. At my first day to work I enqueued among many students on their bikes heading for school or college that had just started again. I imagined going back to college in the first days of september and the thoughts both warmed my heart and filled it with pain for certain reasons.

The pictures I prepared for this update were taken on an early saturday morning some weeks ago, when I went to the market in town but had to take a detour for some pictures because the air was filled with an incredible light. If I had been up only fifteen minutes later the mystic light would have been gone. As a regular visitor of my site, you might recognize the motives. I took several pictures there last winter and the summer pictures work as missing links of a puzzle, completing the view on the area of the sluice. I also added some new pictures of dragonflies in the seasonal section and I hope you enjoy them if you like dragonflies ...

There is one thing left I want to show you tonight - my car has a name now.

... good night to you =)

"Drugs" for this update:
Deep & Chilled Euphoria CD2, a blue bowl with strawberries I was given some days ago =)

inside outside


When I came home last friday and closed the door behind me, I was feeling a little strange inside. Actually "strange" is not the proper word I am looking for at the moment, but no other word describing my state back then comes to my mind now. It was the first evening of my holiday and I felt as if I had immersed into a deep black void. I should've been happy, because finally time to do all the things I wanted to do awaited me - but there was nothing. No happiness, just this odd feeling.

Have you experienced this as well? However, I decided to take it slow that very evening and just do nothing to familiarize my brain with the thought of time. I had planned a trip to friends in Wuppertal over the weekend, and it turned out, that it was a good idea to do so. I was somehow cought by them and carefully released after the weekend.

They have a wonderful old house leaning to a hillside with a steep garden that leads directly into a big old forest. The house is still being renovated and its signs of decay merge beautifully into the surrounding landscape. We took a long walk through the "Gelpetal" that verges on the forest behind their house. A characteristic feature of this valley are the small streams leading into dammed ponds, where in the beginning of the industrialization small factories for metalwork were built up (called "Hämmer" - sorry, but I couldn't find a translation for them). There is not so much to see of them anymore, some are renovated and are used as restaurants now, signs describe the remains of the others'.

We had a wonderful walk through gleaming sunlight under giant trees and along the creeks. Many dragonflies were in the air and after the walk I ate wafers with rice pudding (topped with sugar and cinnamon) - this (for me) unusual combination seems to be very common in that area. Of course my cam was at my side, which means you can come with me on that walk if you wish.

The rest of the weekend was filled with nice cooking and plenty of talk. I was given something very nice, when it was time to say goodbye. The former inhabitants had brought wild strawberries from the forest into the old garden and now a dozen of smultron plants try to make friends with the other flowers in my garden. Some are still in blossom, and some even carry few unripe fruits. Right now they seem to like it here and I hope they'll make it for good ...

Yesterday I assembled an old table on the still empty attic. That gives me the chance to work on some big pictures I wanted to paint for a long time now. But I seem to have lost some of my drawing ability and need time to regain them. Actually I even have to force myself a little bit to paint. On the one hand the attic is ideal because nothing can distract me but the neighbours whom I can watch from up there through the big windows (which can actually be a l o t of fun ;). On the other hand it is also uninspiring with nothing but webradio hollering up from my Mac one storey deeper. We'll see, if I'll get the drive. Since I should train my pencils to follow my thoughts, I'l leave you now. Enjoy the remaining hours of the day and the pictures =)

"Drugs" for this update:
Dragonfly Records - Beaches and Cream, a mug with coffee

phenomenons of nature


Just shortly after my last entry - when I mentioned the fact that temperatures had reached a proper level - the weather offered some of the most humid and warm days imagineable. But I survived them and now it's once again back to the regular middle-european summer with a lot of rain - I dare say with more rain than usual. *looks over shoulder outside the window* - yup, rain again ...

A fascinating result of this is the incredible number of mushrooms growing everywhere. On my way to work last week I saw bunches of big grey ones next to a hedge at an elementary school I pass every day. They had a height of about 15 cm and didn't look edible. I was a little late that particular morning so I had no time to take pictures. Of course the mushrooms were trampled down in the evening. But when I passed the place the next morning, they had grown again up to the same size. They didn't look as nice as the day before so I decided to take no pictures. Perhaps they return next week ... it's so odd, they grow that fast.

Speaking of oddness ... I collected some seedcapsules from a medlar in the neighbour's garden yesterday and placed them upon a small cupboard in the hallway. When I went downstairs this morning for breakfast, I discovered an amount of crumbs dispersed on the floor. Due to the warmth of the house the capsules had exploded over night and strewed all over the place. As I mentioned - nature can be odd :)

During the past weekends I visited some BBQs. One of them ended in a thunderstorm which was really nice to watch but horrible to drive home through the night. The thunderbolts gave surreal illumination to the nightly forest I was driving through and my eyes had a hard time to adjust to the constantly changing light. The heavy rain made leaves fall down in masses onto the streets and I think that some of the leaves my car was driving over were not just leaves but also frogs passing the road :/

The other party was more like a BBQ open to public with maybe 200 guests and took place on a farmhouse close to my home. The music was definitely not to my liking but the food and drinks were cheap and good. I hardly knew anyone that evening, so I busied myself a little with my camera and took some pictures. They're not spectacular, but you might like to see images of a party that took place literally between cows.

During the upcoming week I'll have a lot of work to finish or bring to an almost finished state (especially some big web-projects) because finally I'll have some days off from monday in a week until the end of the month. Some work will remain incomplete and my colleague has to deal with it - but I can't help it. Since work is not so nice right now for particular reasons I hope I can dissociate from the agency for a while and things wil be better, when I return. Keep your fingers cross for me and have a nice sunday evening. Cya =)

"Drugs" for this update:
Triac - Discharged, blueberries with soured milk, strawberry and mango scented candles

the beach


Sometimes I just don't believe how time flies. I think about it when trying to keep a certain rhythm to my updates that sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. The summer is at it's height and temperatures have finally reached a lower level which I can accept. There were many days when the thermometer climbed easily above the 30 degs mark with the result of around 36 degs at the agency. Believe me - this heat simply lames my brain and it's no fun working then at all. I really do prefer this overcast sky with occasional rainshowers and temperatures around 20 degs. I'd also care for a decent thunderstorm, but there hasn't been one this year yet.

Another fact is that a holiday is not yet visible for me, but I am definitely in need of one. I can tell that by the fact that I sometimes feel like a nice, determined, working machine - nothing more. The days pass, the weeks pass and so do the weekends. I'm just following the flow. Of course I know, it's up to me to determine my life and what to do with the hours of my day, but right now I have the feeling it's not so easy. Sometimes there's this void inside my head and I see no chance to just get up and do something. Perhaps I'm just overworked ...

However I don't mean to sound too negative, because there was a nice evening last week I'd like you to participate in. My hometown has set up a beach area right in the middle of the town upon a piece of fallow land between one of the mainstreets and the new townhall. If you manage to occupy a beach chair or deckchair you can almost forget you're in the city-center. As soon as the sun sets, the silhouettes of the surrounding houses vanish and torches are lit. It's probably the only place in town with barefeet waitresses in bikinis. In the beginning I thought: "What a stupid idea to make this gigantic effort of dumping tons of sand in the middle of the town." But when I arrived there, I was surprised by the atmosphere of this place.

A nice mixture of visitors chilled in the seats, some were playing beach volleyball, some had brought their children and they were building sandcastles. I've sometimes seen people starting to fight after too much alcohol, but not here (at least not on that evening). There's a security (and age) check at the entrance and the atmosphere is really, really relaxed and definitely makes you feel like beeing on holiday. They played decent soft electronic music that mostly tended to sound like a carefully woven song-carpet. But there was this one song, that made me hold still for a moment. It was a tune I had heard several times before because it was a small summerhit last year. But the version they played was a totally low-tempo acoustic version, giving this song a quite different character which I liked a lot instantly and I leaned back with a very mellow feeling in my tummy while listening (It was "Lola's Theme" from the Shapeshifters). I hope you like the pictures I took that evening - for more impressions visit: bocholt-beach.

I also added some pictures of a dragonfly that visited the garden last saturday. When I sat outside reading Harry Potter (which I finished within four days so I am back to the Sil again which I will read in change with "The Wheel of Time") I saw a fast moving shadow on the lawn telling me there was a dragonfly hunting insects. After about twenty or thirty minutes it settled down on a bush of phlox where I carefully approached it. I didn't try to touch it though I had loved to make an attempt because I was so close it must have heard me breathing. Never before had I come that near to these wonderful beings. Unfortunately my camera decided to constantly shutdown after a few seconds of operation due to it's empty rechargeable batteries. But nevertheless I ended up with some very satisfying macro-pictures of whom I hope you'll like them as much as I do =) Summer goes on and so will I! I'll see you again - have a good time.

"Drugs" for this update:
Checking some new webradio stations and Podcasts, blueberries ... this is the time of the year, when I can almost constantly nourish myself with all kinds of berries and fruit ... after crawling through blueberry-bushes for hours ...



A week ago my hometown's annual open-air concert took place in the local soccer-stadium and when I went to bed around midnight the concert was still going on, the warmth of the day was still around. I lay awake and listened to the sounds from the concerts that clang through the night. There was no chance to tell voice from instruments or audience. It was merely an undefined growling merging from soft to loud and it kept me awake for a long time. The day had been warm and the cooler breezes from the night made the curtains sway and beyond the light of a street lamp there were still some very pale pink stripes in the night sky.

The nightly noises sounded like a far far away thunderstorm, echoing inside me abetting my thoughts to escapades. I started to think about the books I had read over the past months and how they influenced me. At night my mind usually spins on what I have read before - especially if it is a fantasy-book I'm reading. I call these inner pictures mind-movies and they usually carry me to sleep. When I read the trilogy of Paksenarrion I sometimes imagined lying on a clearing with a nearby small campfire, listening of the sounds of the forest.

Some days ago I finished reading the first book of the "Wheel of time" series. I hadn't actually heard a lot about these books when I bought the first one, but the long line of sequels looked very nice in the bookstore's shelf, so I guess it was also partly a very spontaneous (even visual) decision I made when I bought it.

The first book was nice though not overwhelming in my opinion. If you're a fan of fantasy literature and indecisive whether to read it or not, I'd say go ahead and give it a try. The main character is a sheepherder, which recalled many memories from the Paks books. But there are also plenty of similarities with "The Lord of the Rings", which made me sometimes think, I'd know too much of the story already. The author must be aware of this likeness but I can't say if it was really his intention to copy so much. Maybe the following books will differ more. All in all it was a good story. The second book is already waiting for me, but since one week a nice grey box resides in my bookshelf as well. The back of the box says: "At times rises to the greatness of true myth.", which means that my quest has finally come to a successful ending and a pretty edition of the english version of the Sil is now in my possession. I expect long hours of reading pleasure =)

Enjoy the small collection of new photographies, the new wallpaper and the summernights.

"Drugs" for this update:
Echotek - Emotion Chaos, ice-tea and freshly harvested blueberries from this morning

the child of midsummer


Never do the colours of nature look so bright, never does the forest smell more intense, never is the feeling of love and adventure as present as in this never ending night.

It is the magic of this one night, when early morning melts with darkness and light claims victory. The light ... soft, golden and warm, yet weak enough to allow some gloom. The night that follows now is glowing. Glowing in dim red and gold and it stirs the scents of summer to a sweet promise of a never ending dream.

Moments of intense experiences - mystically spent together with each other - to feel one. Easyness and the wish to dance gives in to the lurking secrets - when hours don't count anymore. You live only for the moment to seize this night.

The sun is looking down upon you when you expect the moon to brighten the night. Don't let the magic of this night pass. Stand still for a while, raise your eyes to the sky and send a thought to the child of midsummer - resting in the eye of the sun.

"Drugs" for this update:
Nick Drake - Northern Sky, a bowl with cherries



... is unique ...

As already mentioned I had a few days off a week ago. This small holiday captured the hottest days of the year so far with temperatures that easily reached more than 30 degrees in the shadow. I wanted to work in the garden but had to spend most of the time in the shadow with golden light around, wishing for overcast sky and chill.

Friday evening came, I lay on my back on the garden bench, watched the stars come out - and fell asleep ... do you know this state between sleep and vigil? It felt very good but somehow I managed to wake up and tumble into my bed.

Maybe it was this warmth of the days that made some dragonflies visit my small pond again. I watched two of them buzzing around, flying from plant to plant, unsteady and slightly insecure towards me. But those two red ones seemed to be very fond of each other. They hugged each other and finally settled down on a stem of cotton grass.

I ran upstairs, barefeet, trying not to trip and fetched my camera - I succeded. The dragonflies swung with the wind and gave my camera a hard time capturing them but I managed to take some semisharp pictures when the two little ones started making love.

All in all I took the chance to relax a bit. I also managed to get a little tan, some freckles on my nose and a sunburn on my right foot.

I want to finish this entry with a picture of my new toy =)
Enjoy the photos and the long days. I'm hoping for some warm nights with chances to sit outside.

"Drugs" for this update:
Destinaton Goa 9, mint choc

new wings


During the past week I learned that buying a car can be a very time consuming process. Of course - to be more precise - it's not the exchange of money vs. car, but the bureaucracy I had to deal with, considering insurance and instructions how to handle the continuous usage of my old car's number plates.

I was more than happy when - one and a half year ago - my car passed the technichal scrutineering and was therefore a reliable friend since then. The engine still sounds good and I had trusted the car to carry me anywhere, but the chassis made me frown a little more every day. Several important parts carrying most of the weight and holding everything together had started to rust extremely. If I had known someone who whould have had the time to repair it for little money, I had probably given it a try.

Actually I had no concrete plans to buy a car this spring. The car of my dreams is far away from my financial possibilities. From now on I'll try to save money and come a little closer to that dream in some years. So currently there's a nice wine-red (the colour suits me, huh ;) Astra waiting in the driveway for me. I picked it up from the dealer last week and you can have a look at some pictures from it in the seasonal section =)

The day I got the car I walked to the agency because I didn't want to leave my bike there over night. The early morning started very bright and I walked at slow pace to enjoy the nice light in the sky. But it was very cold so I buried my hands in the pockets of my pants, playing with the controls of my brand new iPod Shuffle, I got some days ago. No, I haven't found a new source of money. I simply subscribed to a design-magazine (Page) I buy every month anyway and the Shuffle was a gift to that subscription.

Since yesterday this very little iPod is connected to my car and provides me with surprisingly good sounding music in there. But I hope to swap the Shuffle with an IPod Photo in a few weeks. That'll mean about 30 GB of music and having my most favourite photos with me all the time. I can even sync it with my iCal, connect it to my camera and store the pictures in case its memory-card is full. Along with that I want to lay my hands on the odd iPod-Socks for protection. I checked out some bags for various iPods and also for my camera at a local store yesterday, without finding something nice, but I have an idea how they could look like.

That's all for today. I'll try and enjoy a little bit of the nice weather outside now and look foward to some free days next week from thursday on for some reading, drawing and perhaps a little biketrip. Have a good week and try to chillout a bit.

"Drugs" for this update:
Dragonfly - Wingmakers, this year's first fresh strawberries *shines*

I am a prototype ...


Tonight's update is a little different from what I originally planned it to be. *leans back and places feet on subwoofer* I was hoping to provide you with pictures from the most amazing rave ever which I visited last week, but I wasn't allowed to take my cam inside =( So all that is left from this amazing night are my memories and some souvenirs I collected and took home.

But I want to share those memories with you and maybe your phantasy can put some details together and help your mind to form pictures.
It was the very first rave for the friend that accompanied me and she was so fond of it - immediately dancing away and smiling happily all night long - assuring me it was not her last one ...
This year's Mayday was (in my opinion) even better than last year's event. Most reports on the Mayday start with: "... the Spaceship Westfalenhallen has landed again ... " - and it actually is like that. Area 1 is located in the gigantic round main hall, giving room to many thousand visitors. During Westbam's set I found my dancing space nearly in the middle of this Area 1 ... I looked up to the ceiling and together with Westbam's undescribable use of bass in combination with the lightning, I felt like being inside a spaceship's propulsion.
I read later about the sound being close to perfection - and it really was like that! You hear the high tones and the bass ... and then there is something you can only experience at a rave - the very deep tones - which is the bass you can feel in your tummy and every little nerve. The DJs knew very well how to use it - until it almost hurt.

One thing that made the Mainfloor so special was the lightning. I found some pictures at Virtual Nights (I don't mean to steal them, I want to use them to illustrate my explanations - so visit this site for more pics and a report on the Mayday!) The Mayday-Team used 4 ovals of ceiling-grids to carry the lights. Each one of them was separated into several parts and was therefore able to be moved in different angles and heights. The overall impression was like dancing inside a machine and sometimes I just closed my eyes to let my senses take over my body ...

This year they also paid more attention to chillout zones. There was this nice small lounge that had a Mac IBook at the entrance. Later I also noticed that Area 1's stage was supervised by Macs and some of Apple's Cinema Displays =) I was soooo jealous.

I really wish, I could show more of this night. Maybe I have more luck next year, or at the next rave that's worth to be captured in pictures. The Mayday definitely is worth it. So far I had no chance to listen to a set from X-Dream, but at least X-Lover was at the Mayday.
Drivig home with a lot of coke, orange juice and glucose-sugar inside, I watched the nature waking up, a lot of early mist hovered over the streets and the highway and the morning greeted me with perfect pastels and an amazing orange last quarter moon that guided me home safely.

That's almost all for this update. I still have some pictures of my black tulips which I want to share in the seasonal section. Have a good time :) while I'll probably have a new (used) car next week! Keep your fingers cross that everything will work out fine. Cya with my next update!

"Drugs" for this update:
Philosomatika, Fanta

the sun is shining on me


Do you know the saying "Da ist der Wurm drin!"? Unfortunately I was unable to find a proper english translation for it, though I am very sure this saying exists in every country. It means, if something has already begun to go wrong, you can be sure it'll continue to go wrong until it's over and done. It is simply about a series of bad luck or constant mistakes. I faced this phenomenon with a client's job which was already in the print shop but had to be taken out of the machines due to really worse colours.
The problem is my uncalibrated monitor at the agency. Normally I am able to handle it, but this job dealt with a huge variety of fabric's colours and pictures that were taken at different places mirrored different lightning situations. I ended up with one day of constant driving between client (telling me how the colours were supposed to look like) and a graphic-studio (providing me with a calibrated monitor and digital-proofs). At the end of the day I was both upset about my monitor and filled with lots of new knowledge about colour-management. I started getting even deeper into the topic, downloaded some whitepapers from Adobe and tested new ICC-profiles. In the meantime my monitor is still not calibrated :/ ...

Speaking of colours ... I said in my last posting I'd submit a picture of the elven-plant. You can find it in the seasonal section amongst other very colourful images, which I took mostly in the early morning hours last week before going to work. What I love most about all the plants in the garden is the strong contrast between the fragile petals and the massive, curvy stones - especially these days, when every bloom wants to overtake it's neighbour in colour and size.
I am also waiting for my tulips to blossom. To be honest to you - I am absolutely not fond of tulips in the garden - at least not the ordinary yellow and squeaky red specimen in the neighbourhood :( but I bought special bulbs last autumn that are called "Queen of the night" and their petals are black ...
Unfortunately I missed some of the early blooming plants this year, which can often be found in the forest like winter aconite, hepatica and the wood anemone. I am planning start a little quest in february next year to a forest and bring some of them home to my garden if I am lucky enough to find them.

I had a horrible busy weekend twith plenty of projects to work on and I was actually getting a little tired of typing and photoshopping, but I'd like to add one thing. I went to Dortmund last week and visited a really nice concert from Runrig (pics in the seasonal section). They're a scottish band and I have already visited one of their concerts two or three years ago. They are making excellent use of their drums, occasionally singing in Gaelic which gives you the feeling, that William Wallace followed by his warriors is just galopping behind you. They're impressive! Anyway - I'll visit Dortmund again next weekend for this event to dance like noone's watching ... Enjoy the spring and enjoy the raving beats =)

"Drugs" for this update:
members of mayday - prototypes, extremely sour winegum :X

the little things


There was a time last year, when I started using my bike on the way to work more often than my beloved old car. The reason for that was - to tell you the truth - that I was on my way to a rave in Oberhausen last summer and caught by a traffic control for driving too fast and had almost lost my license for a month. I won't comment further on this ...
Though it is wonderful to cycle in the early morning hours (or back home in the evening) I sometimes was competely wet after a rain shower or icecold when the winter had arrived - I didn't complain :). The way to the agency is not very long (about 10 mins.) but I had the feeling I discovered something new every morning. Suddenly I saw things, I had never seen before allthough I had passed them day by day before.

These newly discovered details make me smile every time I ride by since their moment of discovery and now I decided to take pics of some of them to share them with you - except one. There is this little house covered with ivy (the one with the small sun on the roof). If you look trough it's windows pointing to the street you can see the most incredible collection of cake shovels nailed to the (kitchen?) wall. I don't dare to capture this picture (yet).

How many people are there to perceive such little things? They might not be important, but they can truely brighten up your day for a few moments. Words, icons, gestures - little things can make a difference. You zoom into a picture and suddenly you see something you've overlooked before - you read a text and suddenly you are able to read between the lines. But actually a lot more lies within these thoughts than just these plain ideas.
I don't know if my continuous taking of pictures is one reason for this. I visit plenty of sites that deal with this topic (also finding new links now and then), I could spend hours of reading about technical aspects - but most of all I enjoy the pictures they provide ... and I collect them all ... but often I deeply miss someone who is able to explain complex theories with simple words and vivid examples.

If you're interested in details you might like this site with it's impressive examples.

The last little thing for this update is something that I saw in the garden last week. For the first time in my life (due to my very first little garden) I watch it's inhabitants recover from minus-zero degrees and stretching leaves out into the sun. I had thought my dearest elven-plants had died this winter, but the first tiny pale green leaves show themselves these days *sighs* and I'll take some pictures for you, when they blossom again =) ... good night for now

"Drugs" for this update:
X-dream - Psychomachine, red wine

soon spring


The nature slowly awakes from hibernation these days but I enjoyed the snow during this winter so much that I decided to submit some more winter pictures I took two weeks ago. Watching the white covered nature and dogs playing in the snow made me look for more motives. On an early saturday morning - after fresh snow had fallen over night - the sun rose pale in the sky and I visited a close sawmill next to a sluice.

The snow is gone now, the temperatures rise and I spent a really nice day in Cologne yesterday. Mainly due to a concert in the Palladium from Keane last night, but the city is always worth a trip and the sunshine and warm temperatures played their roles perfectly. I sat outside a pub with a drink in the old town, watching people and enjoying the sun on my skin. There was this moment, when I looked up into the sky and saw a thin cloud above me with a little miracle I couldn't really understand. It's white hue was tinted in the colors of the rainbow. It lasted only about half a minute, then it disappeared. Whoever sent this cloud - thank you!

The concert at the Palladium was awesome. This band planted seeds of inspiration with their lyrics for several of my "seasonal" updates such as the wonderful "Bedshaped" and "Somewhere only we know". Check out their tourdates here. Seeing them unfold an Apple Titanium with OSX Panther and the white Apple sticker on a box on stage made them even more sympathetic to me :) They're a young and promising band, had a nice subtle light show and discreet projections on a huge videoscreen like a lonely moose wandering through a snowy landscape accompanying the song "Somewhere only we know". After leaving the concerthall a brilliant full moon was in the sky and it was still about 11 degs warm outside so I could still walk around in my T-Shirt.

I am looking forward now to a week off from the agency, hoping to spend some hours of reading on the couch or sorting the mass of digital images on my comp, which will take me a lot of time. To round up today's entry, I think several things yesterday showed me, how sweet life can be, even when you're tired and some thoughts on your mind are a mess. Have a Happy Easter everyone!

"Drugs" for this update:
Ministry of sound, water



On and on they sped, northward into the nigth, time fading into an indistinct blur. Now and again the lights of farmhouses flashed into sight, then disappeared as quickly as imagination.
... They raced through darkness relieved only by watery pale moonlight, a darkness where trees along the road loomed up without warning, then were gone. For the rest, murk surrounded them, and only a solitary night-bird's cry, lonely and mournful, disturbed the steady pounding of hooves.
... Ahead of them in the night, lights sparkled, as if a tall swarm of fireflies held one place among the trees.
This isn't the origin of tonight's update, but I read these tight atmospheric lines some nights ago in "The Wheel of Time" and wanted to share them with you.

What do you do before falling asleep? Do you lie in bed with your eyes wide open, staring into the darkness thinking of nothing, do you use the moments before gliding into the land of dreams to think of all you did throughout the day?
There is one scenery in my mind I wanted to put in shapes one evening.
Imagine - you're outside on a glade, nothing but soft darkness surrounds you, the nightsky stretches across the horizon and you look at the stars. The surrounding makes you feel peaceful and relaxed and while you stand there and watch the stars, some of them come closer until they surround you.
In the beginning you're not able to make out what it is you see, but then they become clearer and define a shape around your body - a ship made of stars. You lean back as if lieing on a soft mattress and the stars lift you up into the night sky. With them you travel accross any border - from real to imaginative ones in your mind and you understand that your thoughts are free and your mind is unlimited.
I hope you like the icons and wallpaper. Have a merry day and weekend =) cya

"Drugs" for this update:
Arkenstone, Music inspired By Middle Earth - The Palantir, red wine



Like you, I had the indescribable feeling, winter had gone before even begun. No snow for christmas and unusual temperatures in the following weeks which caused many plants in my garden to bud. And now take look at the scenery around us - my snowdrops bravely stuck their heads out of the soil under the privet bush and face the temperatures which are supposed to go down to -12 degs here in the next days *shivers*.

This weather is definitely very odd in my opinion. When I visited Cologne the weekend before Valentine, I drove through the "Bergische Land". It is the area closest to me where bedrock hits the surface, the landscape shows some slopes and hills and the sides of the highway are framed by rocks and forest. The weather was moody and changed between snow, a winter-thunderstorm at night and heavy wind during the day, which caused a tree to fall across the opposite direction of the traffic just minutes before I passed it.

Though the weather was not so nice, the visit to Cologne compensated the circumstances. I just love strolling through this city, its shops and Starbucks. I can spend hours in the giant bookstores - slowly making my way through all the sections from Designbooks to Fantasy. This time I also wanted to visit a new store I didn't know before that provided some stuff I had found on the internet and was only available in few cities in Germany. Finding this store in Cologne was sooo tricky though I had the address and asked for the way about four times.

In the end I was nearly desperate but discovered the shop's sign for its receiving department. I walked through empty corridors and finally *taddaa* I entered a nice patio I hadn't expected to find with tiny bars around, comfy couches and palm trees. The shop turned out to be a little sensation with products from all around the world, I had never found elsewhere. And in the end - when I left, I found the easy and official way to enter it the next time - you can follow me if you wish :) in the seasonal section.

The Wheel of Time turns and Ages come and pass. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the Shadow. Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time ...
With these words I entered the world of "The Wheel of Time" some weeks ago. A world of kings, queens, and Aes Sedai - women who can tap the True Source and wield the One Power, which turns the Wheel and drives the universe: a world where the war between Light and Shadow is fought every day.

Unfortunately my desired Sil-Edition seems to be completely sold out everywhere so I started reading this series. In the beginning it was ... well ... as any other fantasy book, but it caught me now, however I do feel, that when you've read Tolkien, you know the basics of any other fantasy novel. Every book seems to have a Dark One, Black Rider and Orcs - and I don't even know who invented them for the first time ...

Enjoy the new pics and I'll see you again soon!

"Drugs" for this update:
Miranda - Northernlights, grapes

love and deep friendship


I bought myself some flowers today ... just for the occasion. Remember your true friends and loved ones, give them a hug and have a merry day.

breath of winter


Imagine ... waking up after a sweet dream ... to winter wonderland ...

That's what happened to me several days ago. Before going to work I had to take a detour through this white and cold morning. Chasing a black cat with white snowsocks down my street, flirting with a sheep and falling silent for a while - marvelling at the nearly full moon that hovered down low in the sky. The air was clear and filled with this incredible electric blue light you can see in the pictures I took (some of them turned out to be blurry due to the lack of light and my nearly frozen fingers). I hope you like them as much as I liked walking through the snow, listening to the sound my feet made in the freshly fallen white.

In contrast to the calm nature around, the agency is incredibly busy these days. Though I love taking pictures, it is so strenuous to supervise a shooting for a client. The doubts that arise when you think the light and setting are perfect for the product - but there is always this insecurity whether everything is really to the client's satisfaction. Someone yells "Shoot" and from that point there's no turning back. Yesterday I spent hours on a shooting for cleaning rags (amazing, huh?) - most of the time in a crammed mini kitchen (in an occupied private house) with five adults, three children, a budgie and plenty of technical camera equipment. I had to take some impressions with my camera for you that can also be found in the seasonal section.

... and after work I still settle down at my Mac, tune in to Philosomatika and work on my private projects or do english homework on sunday evenings. I am still not sure if I can afford the exam in about a year for my Cambridge Certificate - but time will tell ...

"Drugs" for this update:
Philosomatika - for concentration and relaxation, Mini Rolo



Over the past days a mean, fevery cold forced me to stay in bed. Those were odd hours, spent mostly in a dreamlike state between being awake and asleep ... thinking, daydreaming, watching the clouds outside grow dark, bringing rain and snow - suddenly minimizing and turning to soft pink. Today I still feel a bit lame, because for the first time in my life I took no medication against the cold. It'll probably take a while longer for me to recover completely, but I'm fine (I ensure you that never before I drank so much freshly squeezed orangejuice :)

The picures I uploaded tonight represent a mixture of shots I took over the past weeks while striding through my town. I wasn't looking for something special but since my camera is always with me, I always think this or that subject could look nice on my site. It is so good to see, that even now when almost all people have taken down their xmas-decoration, some families still maintain christmas lights in trees, hedges or even inside the house.

I'm sure many of you have the same habit of visiting certain sites every day. Because you look for an update, you search for something nice to look at or to read, or just to find one or more fresh links that lead you to new places. I use this little software "Konfabulator" on my Mac which brings weather data, webcams, busschedules and other useful (or useless) things to my desktop. Recently the site updated with a new version so now also Windows can look a little more like MacOS :) You can find it in the link-section.

I also added a little icon taken as a preview from an upcoming set.

Before I forget ... this update is broadcasted life from my room via the newly installed flatrate *shines a little*. Finally I can listen to webradio all night long.
Enjoy the updates.

"Drugs" for this update:
Destination Goa 9, still looking for a song I heard on the radio last week, that contained the line: ... dance like noone's watching, orangejuice ... again

written in the stars


Welcome to the new year! Starting into this much too warm and stormy january I don't know whether it's the greenhouse-effect or just a contemporary exception, but I fear the days for me to see snow will become rare. At least there was some white beauty - and I enjoyed even the smallest flakes tumbling down from the sky, landing gracefully upon flowers and walls.

The change to another provider brought some odd days for me over christmas. By the end of this month I'll (hopefully) be online with the flatrate and a faster connection to the web than now. I can't wait for it to arrive, because that'll finally mean I'll have webradio, webTV and anything else that goes with it. But the old provider mixed up some dates and cut me off completely from internet and telephone over the holidays. Those were some strange days, because I noticed how much the internet has become a very normal part of my daily life that was suddenly gone. No visiting of beloved websites, no quick checking for the song the radio had just played :(

But I had equipped myself with plenty of movies (e.g. Kill Bill, X-Men II and Snatch) and was - by that coincidence - even given the time to watch them. I managed to work on my pile of unread books as well - not the "Wheel of time" as I had planned, but "Fermat's last theorem". I never expected a book about mathematics to be so fascinating :) The "Wheel of time" is next and - if amazon manages to find the special edition I ordered - "The Sil" will follow =)

One evening in december I had an nice talk with a friend who's very interested in astronomy. We talked about the planetary swing-by meneuvers and his (sometimes) funny experiences when watching the stars. That was the moment I remembered the telescope my mum had given me a year ago, because she had no real use for it. Until this week it was still in the basement disassembled into plenty parts. I assembled it this week on the empty attic where I'm closest to the stars. When we parted that night in december, the friend left me with the words: "Don't forget ... every telescope has it's own sky ...". Now I'll try and find mine ...

Whatever this year will hold for all of us is written in the stars ...

"Drugs" for this update:
Paul van Dyk - Time of our Lives, winegum and liquorice

2009  2008  2007  2006  2005  2004






Kirmes 2005

solar eclipse

solar eclipse

pumpkin festival

pumpkin festival















early morning


queen of night






lasting snow

the height of the snow




the wheel of time in cologne


verschneite straße